Month: December 2016

New Employment and The Unseen Expectation to Deliver

new employment tension

I was offered a job to manage the team of writers, to ensure delivery of contents is punctual and streamlined.

I truly appreciate this new opportunity. Thanks to divine almighty or my fortune-favorite mascot, I have finally got something that I think is perfectly resonating with my ability to manage team of his relatively less-experienced subordinates, train them how to get along with the (writing) process by showing ways they may have never experienced before.

I understand that when you become a team leader, there is always this unseen expectation from people in your employment. They perceive of you as the enlightened, a capable resource to get ongoing processes streamlined by using his wits and resourcefulness. An individual supposed to innovate things.

Even though you are given this ‘carte blanche (freedom)’ not to act hastily to deliver what’s been expected of you, but still, seized by this strange thought – I get this feeling that my position holds significant ground, something not to be taken lying down. Therefore, those around me, quite expectedly, will show some respect.

But this is not what I meant as the feeling. I sense that I am being watched, expected to deliver, and to say you very frankly, this is the feeling where I find myself somewhat ambivalent as to whether I have enough pluck to stand the volts of the unseen expectation.

What if things slightly go awry? Will I be subjected to howl of official derision?

And if something happens like that, will I be able to shield the prestige and honor of my position from those eyes, now holding my image something like “He’s not the right guy we’d expected” type of reaction.

But aren’t they right, somewhat, or absolutely, subsequent to the mis-performance from my end? This is because people get themselves driven by the feelings what they subjectively deduce from the (kind of) “impression” a source conveys.

From whatever days (just two) I have served in this new organization, I think I have had enough time to get the ins and outs concerning what I am supposed to deliver, according to ‘expectation’.

But if you ask me, it is one thing to understand the process, quite another to deliver, on practical ground. Isn’t it?

But that’s not the point of my concern. I mean to say, these two days are some of the most important days of my career as a writer for the reason, that I have gained experience of something I always thought of ‘impossible’ to materialize.

Indeed, to be a team leader is the most precious privilege I have ever had the honor of witnessing. To lead those of your counterparts with relatively less exposure to writing than that of yours is an opportunity to prove to your inner critique (I’ve been the most brutal critique on myself), that you’ve got something tremendously powerful in you.

What it needs to get up and act is a slight friction and you will see it sparking a blaze!

When I was being offered to lead a team of writers, I was constantly skeptical. I was not trusting my instinct, that this job is going to be okay, considering the years of experience and my relevant exposure to writing. I was not believing that my acquired experience will afford the guts required to lead a team.

I was skeptical not because I thought I couldn’t manage the team, but I felt doubtful because of my zero experience in the job.

Now that I have worked for two days, I came to know of a very common, yet highly unnoticeable fact, that we tend to be afraid (or doubtful) of something we know nothing of. One more thing, I have realized that taking a challenge is indeed a risky venture of pushing your limits quite an inch farther, to test your ability whether it could stand to occasion.

The beauty of this current opportunity is that I am getting disabused of the (preconceived) delusion on myself, that I could not be a leader: a huge mistake caused by negativity that I wittingly kept on feeding, as I was afraid of entering into a new role I acquired no (relevant) experience of.

I fully understand that these two days are no worthwhile, neither can they inflict any positive impression on my Resume (CV), but what I truly believe is the fact that I made a big mistake in the past by not trusting myself, my ability, as a writer. Now that I am in, God willing – the expectation to excel myself is already kicking in. I hope to get better, and better. It’s just matter of time.

The point is, how can you learn swimming if you do not step in water, sometimes swim upstream?