I want to work really very hard but my inertia and procrastination get the best on my willingness. I believe that just by thinking or wishing for success couldn’t materialize my dream or want. I feel repulsed with this hatred on myself that why I am so delayer in almost everything. I have personally observed that the things of luxury nature attract me instantly rather than the things of study or something that could really make my life meaningful.
Today I had a telephonic discussion with my egoist landlord. He, like almost everyone who loves to bluff or braggart himself too much, started to sound off really smartass.
These days, people who think they can speak English simply look down upon those who prefer to speak in their language than choosing a foreign language to speak to other people. This landlord talked to me in English just because he wanted to show me that he could speak that language.
That’s okay if someone speaks English with me, but that is surely not okay and of course acceptable if the person uses that language to show off his superiority complex. That guy started to show off with a tonality of superiority complex by using that language but I guess that was backfired when I retorted him in English.
This should be a topic of discussion on a worldwide level that why English is quickly embraced by so called intelligent society as a smart way of communication by discrediting the prestige of Hindi, the language which is one of the most spoken languages in the world. Anyway, the point of talking was that my landlord, when he heard me of retorting in English, just resorted to Hindi but I kept talking nonstop just because I wanted him to believe that I was not less than him in any way imaginable.
I may be wrong that I had stumped him, but his resorting to Hindi and unmistakable vacillation told me different story.
The conversation concluded with either party having reached to a unanimous point. However, that left me wondering if my procrastination had something to do with the POWER or convincing appeal in my English, for I have not been in touch with the practice of the language for many days resulting in less than required convincing appeal in it.
I believe that procrastination is killing my real talent, which is I can impress other people with my way of speaking. However, I believe that my eloquence won’t bear fruit until and unless I work really hard to make it more meaningful, charming, attractive, and convincing. The conversation with the landlord had me disabused of the misconception that I am perfect in speaking English, quite oblivious to this naked reality that like any foreign language to have a good command on it, one must work really hard, harder, to say the least.
May God bless me the power of working too hard so that I could have my dreams fulfilled. My aim is to become one of the richest guys. I want to fulfill the desire of my wife and give my son a quality education for his life. I also want to be known as one of the most intellectual persons who talk sense and people love to listen to him.
Amen to that.
Pawan Kumar Jha Writer 