Irrational feedback, offensive expression of someone’s diatribe on your work or casual yet caustic remark on your look from others, criticism is after all criticism. It hurts. The worse, almost nobody takes it lying down (albeit the thinking part of your brain, the cortex, is well trained to handle judgmental response coming from sources outside the brain).
You flinch, you go awry, you become unbalanced, you become distraught, and you go into depression by criticism.
Ah! It’s perhaps the most dangerous, brutal, emotional bullshit to handle easily.
The question – how to deal with criticism, then?
First of all – I am not psychiatric, honestly I am not. Even I get perturbed by criticism (honestly, sometimes, I just can’t differentiate between good and bad criticism or technically known as constructive/destructive criticism. That’s why, I gather, the best way to handle it is to understand the root cause before you shoot your ravings or walk away.
You are a great person, why do you let your critiques feel they won over you?).
Coming again, how to deal with criticism?
Don’t walk away. Don’t retort right away
Sounds difficult? Yeah—even I thought that’s a crap. But I was wrong. It only aggravated my problem. See, if someone criticizes you, deep down, they show you confession of their own characteristic/personality.
They let you know “See, I am an ugly critique. You like my criticism or not, I barely give a damn because I am all set to hurt you”. And think what? – if you flinch, run away or retort, you let them win! Yea man…that’s true! Retaliation is the worst way to expose your Achilles Tendon to others.
Confused? Oh, sorry. Achilles Tendon means weak spot of your personality…something others can use to hurt you (I’ve met guys who often chortle the hell out to demagnetise the intense of criticism).
Change Your Perception And Get The Underlying Picture:
Perhaps that’s the most difficult part to handle criticism. Recently a person suddenly snapped at me, saying my gait looked as if I were the king of England! Ahem! Can’t say exactly how close he was right, yet I just contemplated for a while and asked some close friends to have their say on my gait. Well, none of them said anything like that person.
What if I resorted to counterattack? Say for instance, I would have used expletives or anything that could have pacified me (to the foolish comprehension of mine that I got satisfaction).
However, what I did instead was quite very helpful, peaceful to say the least.
Therefore, I gather, change of perception matters a lot. If someone has criticized you for nothing or maybe they are right/wrong, it is finally your perception about the person that is the real job. If you instantly made a bad perception about the critique, believe me, you won’t be able to handle criticism positively. In fact, you will be blindfolded to see the underlying good message. Mark my words, if you’ve mastered over this, nobody in the world can ever hurt you.
“If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.” ― William Blake
Get the bottom of what you are spoken to
Life is not always fair to you (it is not supposed to be either). There are circumstances that define your personality by the way you deal with them without losing temper. However, not all of us are gifted with the power of intellectualism essential to help us get the bottom of criticisms. If we had this, we would have created a peaceful world to live as a cool family. But we are not.
Criticisms hurt us, as certain part of our personality doesn’t take the trouble of thinking much to understand the true nature of the criticisms.
Hence, more often than not, rather than understanding, we retort. And that’s where the problem surfaces. Rather than helping us to cool off the things, abrupt retaliation makes things worse. I know that sounds pretty disappointing, but mark my words – you will repent like hell on the hindsight. Criticisms, especially the constructive ones, must be treasured as if your life depends on them, for they are blessing in disguise.
Switch to not giving a f**k
This is, to my subjective comprehension of dealing with the criticisms, is very helpful trick to avert getting yourself hurt with useless criticisms.
Our mind is the storehouse of numerous thoughts, some are positive others are negative. Criticisms which are unproductive and that cause sudden shot of repulsion terribly hurt the thought processing faculty of the mind.
This happens mostly when you wittingly let those idiotic thoughts rent space in your mind. People are criticized more when they instantly get provoked by criticism.
Therefore avoiding it is the best way to live a life coolly. If you follow this, I bet, you’d save a lot on stress caused by relentless, caustic criticism.
That’s the end of it. I hope, you’ve got something cool to deal with the criticism next time you feel the heat of it.
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